It is many years since I experienced my first counselling session but I still remember how nervous I felt.
Aged 19, I was grieving intensely after the sudden death of my sister, Madeleine, in a motorbike accident.
I didn't know what to expect in that first session when I attended my university counselling service. After a few minutes, I felt I could relax and open up.
Counselling changed my life by showing me how healing it can be to be listened to in a non judgemental way.
I felt relieved coming out of sessions and lighter in myself . Over the years I have returned for counselling to help with other life events and I always felt lighter after counselling sessions.
The first contact you make with a counsellor/therapist to arrange to come for a counselling session can feel quite scary, especially for people who do not usually talk about their feelings.
Rest assured that it is very difficult to shock a counsellor, especially when they’ve been in practice for a number of years!
We are used to people getting upset or getting lost for words at initial appointments.
There is no 'right' way for a client to do counselling. You simply talk about the issues that have been troubling you and the therapist will help guide you.
The main role of counselling is to give you a safe, supportive space to explore your feelings and your thoughts.
The aim is to help you become more self-aware and to take back control of your thoughts. A counsellor will help you not by giving you advice, but by giving you feedback and challenging some beliefs that you may have had for some time.
At a first counselling session, a counsellor may ask some questions to generate a bigger picture of your story in order to create a complete history. This will include questions regarding how long you have been feeling the way you currently do and you will have space to talk about what is going on in your life currently. You will also be asked about the support and resources you have available to you at present.
The counsellor will be asking certain questions about how you are feeling but does not diagnose any psychiatric issues as a psychiatrist or clinical psychologist does.
The role of the counsellor is not to give advice and be prescriptive- it is more of an equal relationship.
The experience of being listened to by someone without judgement can be deeply healing and give relief from feelings you have been suppressing for some time.
Often when we have scary thoughts and feelings, getting them out in the open can help us to move on with our lives.
There are so many things we do not discuss with even those closest to us.
Counselling can provide the supportive space to explore and experience relief from the tension of keeping these issues to ourselves. It is important to seek out an accredited psychotherapist or counsellor to ensure your safety and know that the therapist is trained and experienced (see www.iacp.ie).
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