How do you recharge? How your personality type influences you

Part of our personality is set by nature and more of it by nurture- i.e. the environment and circumstances in which we grow up. 

We live in a world where being extrovert is celebrated and being an introvert is often presented as a weakness. 

Often overlooked in counselling and psychotherapy is the role of our natural or innate personality types in how we feel, act and think about ourselves. 

Many people come for counselling for social anxiety, for example, and may discover that they really enjoy alone time more than the company of others.

Introverts recharge by spending time alone or in calm, low-stimulus environments.

Too much socialising can feel draining, even if they enjoy it.

Extroverts gain energy from being around people, activity, and external stimulation.Too much time alone can feel flat or demotivating.

Introverts may find they gravitate towards the edges of a room at a party rather than the centre. They can find the company of large groups of people exhausting rather than energising.

On competing a Myers Briggs personality questionnaire, many discover that part of their personality type is introvert. This can be a huge relief for clients who have always believed there was 'something wrong with me' or they were called 'shy' as a child or felt that they didn't fit in. I recommend the website www.16personalities.com for a free personality test. 

There are many strengths in being an introvert- you may pick up the feelings of others quickly and easily empathise with others and feel very loyal to the smaller group of friends you have created. You may ponder the meaning of life and analyse situations more than others. 

Extroverts usually enjoy a wide network of acquaintances and thrive in social gatherings.

They tend to talk things through and may enjoy group discussions.

Once you know your personality type, you can be more realistic about the situations that bring you positive energy and those that draw on it.

Within a family, you can have two extrovert parents with introverted children, for example. Therefore, knowing your child's personality type and your own is a useful piece of information. As parents it is important to respect your child's personality and not push them to do things they feel uncomfortable doing or label them as 'shy' or 'quiet'. Look for the strengths in your child's personality type, remind your child about these strengths and celebrate these. 

In practical terms, knowing where you fall on this spectrum can shape healthier routines for both adults and children.

An introvert may need to protect quiet time during a hectic week or schedule social events with recovery time in mind.

An extrovert might benefit from regular connection—coffee with a friend, group exercise, or a collaborative work setting—to avoid feeling flat or disconnected.

Neither trait is better; both offer strengths. What matters is recognising your natural rhythm and giving yourself permission to honour it. When you understand how you’re wired, you can make choices that support your energy, relationships, and overall wellbeing.

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