Beginning the New Year with a Sense of Lightness

As we step into 2026, many of us like to believe that the past is firmly behind us.

We tell ourselves that what has already happened no longer has power over who we are today.

Yet, in therapy, I see time and again that our experiences—both positive and painful—continue to live within us.

Every significant event leaves an imprint on our thoughts, our emotions, and our nervous system, shaping how we feel and respond in the present moment.

A simple example can make this clear:Thinking back to a happy childhood memory may still bring warmth or comfort to your body today. In contrast, recalling a difficult or traumatic experience may trigger a tightening in the chest, a sense of dread, sadness, or fear.

The body remembers, even when the mind tells us we should be “over it by now.” 

Whether something occurred ten, twenty, or fifty years in the past is largely irrelevant to our emotional system.

When I ask clients when they first remember feeling a particular emotion—such as rejection, fear, or shame—many can return to a specific moment with clarity. Phrases like “I was never the same again” or “Everything changed after that” are common, revealing just how deeply these moments shaped their world.

One sign that the past is still influencing the present is when we find ourselves overreacting to a relatively minor situation.

I often describe our emotional history as a string of pearls.

Each pearl represents an experience linked to a particular feeling—loss, anger, fear, or joy. A present-day event can tug on that string and suddenly transport us back to the original moment when that feeling first took hold.

Feeling excluded in a friendship today, for example, may connect back to an experience of exclusion during school years, carrying the same emotional weight.

Often the presence of another person bearing witness to our past experiences and holding a non-judgmental space for our emotions can be profoundly healing.

We can finally allow ourselves to release the burdens of the past.

The New Year offers a valuable opportunity to reflect on what we may still be carrying.

Rather than setting resolutions focused solely on change or improvement, it can be helpful to ask:

What am I ready to heal?

What no longer needs to define me?

What can I release to help me feel lighter?  

When we release what no longer serves us, we are no longer living from old wounds.

Instead, we begin the year grounded in who we truly are and our nervous system can finally learn to relax and let go.

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