High-Functioning Anxiety: The Silent Struggle Behind Success

High-functioning anxiety is a hidden challenge many people live with, often without even realising it. On the outside, you may appear calm, organised, and successful—maybe even the one others depend on. But beneath the surface, there’s a constant current of worry, overthinking, and self-doubt that never seems to stop.

Much like a swan gliding on the water, all the action and fast pace is happening beneath the surface!

People who come for therapy with high-functioning anxiety are usually dependable, conscientious and successful and life often throws them lots of situations to handle.

When it all becomes too much, people feel the benefit of some time out for themselves by talking about all they are trying to manage in the therapy room.

High-functioning anxiety doesn’t always disrupt your life in obvious ways. In fact, it can drive achievement.

Many people with it are high-performing professionals, perfectionists, or caregivers who seem to have it all together. But internally, they struggle with racing thoughts, chronic tension, people-pleasing, and a fear of failure that’s hard to shake.

If you’re wondering whether this applies to you, here are some common signs:

• You constantly overthink and replay situations in your mind.

• You feel like you’re never doing enough, even when you achieve a lot.

• You struggle to relax, even in downtime.

• You set unrealistically high standards for yourself.

• You often say “yes” when you want to say “no,” out of fear of disappointing others.

• You appear calm but feel overwhelmed inside.

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In order to help reduce anxiety, it is important to learn how to:

• Set realistic boundaries: Learn to say no and honour your own limits without guilt.

• Prioritise rest: Give yourself permission to slow down without needing to “earn” it.

• Challenge perfectionism: Remind yourself that done is better than perfect.

• Practice grounding techniques: Deep breathing, nature walks, or sensory tools can bring you back to the present moment.

• Talk it out: Sharing your experience with a trusted person can lessen the load.

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Talking to a psychotherapist can help you untangle the roots of your anxiety—whether it stems from childhood expectations, trauma, or learned patterns. In therapy, you can learn how to separate your self-worth from your productivity, regulate your nervous system, and create healthier emotional habits.

Psychotherapy offers a space where you don’t need to be “fine.”

You can be honest, heard, and supported—not for what you do, but for who you are.

If this sounds like your experience, know that you’re not alone—and you don’t have to keep carrying the weight by yourself.

Book a session with Nicola by clicking here (in-person or online)

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