The move to starting secondary school is a huge time of change in a twelve or thirteen year old's life. At the end of August, teens will have started secondary and parents can be feeling frazzled by the range of emotions this change can bring.
It is normal to expect there will be a need for a period of settling in and adjustment to this change. Some children navigate this easily and others will struggle for a while with the change.
In letting go of their primary school experience, some teens may need to express some feelings of loss around not being with their familiar peer group as much as before.
They may miss the comfort of the familiar and the safety of knowing everyone's personality in the class including the teacher's! Where they had one teacher in primary, they now have perhaps seven in one day.
Moving from classroom to classroom, navigating and understanding a timetable , being on time for classes and having the right books for each class can feel like huge pressure for some children. Others might sail through this time and enjoy the change where others will struggle for a while to find their feet.
If you have a child who is feeling the pressure to get it all 'right' and not make any mistakes, you may find them emotional, moody and grumpy after school or with your attempts to ask them how they are doing.
You may want to know lots about your child's day at school but your child may already be overloaded by the social demands of attending secondary school.
You may find they come to you in their own time with bits and pieces about their day rather than telling you it all when they come in the door. Exhaustion may be an issue after school so if your child need a nap to reset their system, allow them to do this. Try not to overschedule the time after school with activities and outings. Your child may need time to decompress, relax and unwind.
At weekends, they will need extra sleep as studies now show that teenagers actually do require additional sleep with the amount of brain development they have going on.
Allow time to be around in the evenings when you can so your teen can open up if they want to about school. They may not be looking for you to fix the issues they have rather than just allowing them to vent safely. Try not to take every critique your teen makes of you personally at the moment while they navigate this period of huge change. Learn to pick your battles.
Resilience is built by learning that they can overcome life's challenges and your child may have some unique solutions to some of the issues coming up for them.
Engaging in some familiar activities at home and with team sports can help create a feeling of security and stability at a time of huge change.
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