Embracing Change as Your Children Grow Up

Our lives these days can be hectic and between raising children and working life, we can rarely get the time to sit and be with ourselves.

Because we have become so used to thinking our way through life with endless lists running in our mind of tasks we need to get done, when life gets quieter, it can feel unsettling!

Slowing down can feel unnerving when our system is used to running and being busy!

As children get older and need parents less, often this becomes a time when we have to remember how to BE with ourselves again.

Without the identity of being needed by our children around the clock, who are we?

Midlife becomes a time where we have a chance to reflect on who we are and to learn to be with ourselves again.

In the years approaching older children going to college or leaving home, we are not needed in the same way as before. 

Since birth, we may have been running on autopilot where all our decisions are made around our younger children's needs (how to spend weekends, where to go on holidays, who likes what for dinner! ).

Although we want our children to be independent, have friends, go on holidays, to concerts etc, we can be left feeling a little empty at times.

There can be an unspoken grief process when we are no longer needed in the same way by our children that needs some to be acknowledged.

Rather than filling our time and staying busy, it is important to take some time to allow the feelings of sadness, loneliness and perhaps confusion to come up.

When we allow ourselves to process the feelings, there can be a sense of relief afterwards and clarity too around what we might need more of in our lives in midlife.

Sometimes our mind can tell us 'I'm lonely' or 'I'm unfulfilled' or 'I'm feeling low or bored' but when we sit with ourselves and just breathe into the feelings, there may be some sadness but everything is actually OK in this moment.

We can become used to finding problems with our mind when we are not busy.

Learning to just be in the present moment without needing things to be different can bring enormous peace.

I like to tune into the sounds of nature in my garden for a few minutes and this has been a lot easier to do recently with the glorious weather.

See how it feels just to breathe and close your eyes and listen to nature around you or listen to some music.

Sometimes you may cry a little and let go of some of the sadness around letting go of a phase of family life that has been part of your life for a significant number of years.

If you give these feelings the space they are looking for, you will discover peace within yourself that nobody can take from you.

_____________________________________________________________________________

psychotherapist limerick, psychotherapist newcastlewest, psychotherapist adare, IACP psychotherapist limerick, counsellor limerick, counsellor newcastlewest, counsellor adare, counselling limerick, counselling adare, counselling newcastlewest, accredited counsellor limerick, accredited psychotherapist limerick, trauma counselling limerick, trauma therapy limerick, trauma therapy ireland, PTSD Ireland, CPTSD Ireland, online counselling Ireland, online trauma counselling Ireland,

how to leave a relationship, relationship anxiety, toxic relationship signs, emotional abuse signs, counselling near me, therapist Ireland, online therapy Ireland, anxiety symptoms, how to reduce anxiety, signs of burnout, symptoms of burnout, how to leave a relationship, narcissistic abuse,

how to calm anxiety, Nicola Hogg, midlife