This week I have been thinking about the parents who are preparing for a child leaving home for the first time.
It may be your adult child leaving Ireland for Australia like so many of their peers at the moment, or it could be your child is starting college away from home.
It can be difficult for lots of parents to let go of their children as they leave home for the first time.
As much as you want your child to go out into the world and be happy, you may struggle with feelings of sadness at times.
Parenting is all about letting go when you think back on your child’s life- letting go of the toddler’s hand when they’re learning to walk, letting go of children as they start primary school, allowing teenagers their freedom and independence from you and perhaps the hardest of all- letting older children leave home for college or for a new life abroad.
Commonly known as ‘empty nest syndrome’, it is normal to have feelings of loss and sadness when children leave home. You may miss having children to look after or miss being part of your child’s daily life and you may worry about their safety.
There are things you can do to prevent feeling intense sadness if you know your child will be leaving shortly. It is wise to seek out some new professional or leisure activities- perhaps there is a course you have always wanted to do or a new skill you have wanted to learn?
There will be more time to connect with friends so planning trips to stay with friends or inviting friends to stay will help. Buying a diary and planning activities you enjoy each week will help to make the period of adjustment easier. This is also a good time to invest in your relationship if you have a partner.
Saying good bye is not easy so it is important to allow yourself to feel the sadness that arises- knowing that you won’t cry forever.
It is a grief experience when a child leaves home.
Lean on close friends and family who will allow you to feel sad.
This is also a time of transition in your relationship with your child as you go from seeing them every day to maybe once every few weeks or every few years if they have moved abroad.
Talking to your child about how much contact they would like with home can be helpful. It is also important to stay positive about how this new stage will benefit your life and to look forward to an adult relationship with your child.
Take it one day at a time and be gentle with yourself through this period of change.
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