Many teens can struggle with anxiety when mixing with their peers and/or adults.
It can be too easy for teens to stay at home online and on their phones rather than face the uncomfortable feeling of being anxious when mixing with others in person.
I have noticed increased numbers of teenagers and college students referred to me for counselling for social anxiety since the lockdowns in 2020 when many of them sadly missed out on opportunities for socialising.
Teens may report feeling anxious, experience panic attacks, have difficulty sleeping and be reluctant to mix with their peers at a time in their lives when friendship is of critical importance to them developmentally. It can be very frustrating and upsetting for parents witnessing a teen struggling with social anxiety. They may also be reluctant to attend school or have physical symptoms of anxiety.
We may wonder why more and more teens are presenting with social anxiety issues and I believe there are several factors contributing to this problem. One of the biggest obstacles to teens feeling well is the pressure of social media. Many teenage clients report feeling under pressure to keep up with Snapchats in the evenings and may go to sleep much later than they need to. Friends will only post the positive aspects of their lives on Facebook.
'Everyone else' may appear to be happy all the time, have a boyfriend/girlfriend, be invited to events. Belonging to a group of their peers is one of the most critical needs for teens and social anxiety can often become an obstacle to achieving this.Â
You may wonder as a parent how you can help your teen experiencing social anxiety. Encourage a reduction in sugar/caffeine consumption as this will only exacerbate anxiety symptoms. Compromise with your teen about a switch off time for wi-fi/mobile data so that they are getting enough sleep and they are not available to the outside world 24/7.
Encourage your teen to continue to socialise despite the anxiety they may feel. When we are scared of something, we often avoid it and this only gives the anxiety further power. Similar to being scared of a dog, we must try and make friends with it rather than running away from it. In this way, the more we are exposed to what we are scared of, the less power it has over our lives. This is how we create emotional resilience.Â
Encourage hobbies and friendships with friends with similar interests. Explaining to teens that they need to find their own 'tribe' can be helpful- i.e. don't expect that you will fit into every group of people, we must find the people who we can really connect with. This may mean encouraging your teen to try some new activities with people they have not mixed with before.
If you feel your teen is continuing to struggle with social anxiety, a counselling session can be helpful so they can learn social skills and learn to manage the anxiety.
Comments