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Do you feel 'good enough'?

A recurring theme for clients coming for psychotherapy and counselling is not feeling good enough about themselves.

Under the layers of social anxiety, depression, insomnia and low self-confidence is often a feeling that we are not good enough.

These feelings are generally picked up in childhood at times where we felt we didn't measure up.

Perhaps we didn't meet a parent's expectation or a teacher's expectation. We may feel that we disappointed those around us in some way.

It doesn't necessarily mean that we were told verbally that we were not good enough- it can be as simple as a disapproving look to allow feelings of not being good enough to set in as a child.

A famous tag line for the charity Barnardos is 'a childhood lasts a lifetime' and this is very true.

The good news is that we do not have to hold onto these feelings of not being good enough forever.

We can choose to start seeing ourselves differently and build some new, positive beliefs. It takes a little practice to notice our self-talk.

Becoming aware of how we feel about ourselves allows us to observe these thoughts and feelings and we can then choose to focus on what is good about ourselves instead.

If, just for 24 hours, you loved yourself just as you are, how would your day be different?

What kind of activities would you take part in?

Who would you spend your time with?

What kind of food would you eat if you really loved yourself?

How would you speak to yourself inside your head?

What are the beliefs about yourself that you are ready to let go of?

It can be helpful to write these down and then burn the list as a release.

What thoughts would you prefer to be thinking about yourself?

When do you feel like a good enough son/daughter, husband/wife/partner, friend, mother/father etc?

There are always areas of our lives where we do feel like we are already good enough.

How would it be to focus on these instead of where you feel you are lacking?



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